Honey, I'm home!

May 17, 2013

final

From time to time, I plan to post a quick and easy thing you can do right away to make your marriage better.  This one still comes as a surprise to me and I am a little hesitant to share it at the risk of sounding like a scene out of "Leave it to Beaver." Nonetheless, here it is:

When working with couples in my practice, I often ask my clients at the end of a session to look their spouse in the eyes and tell them one thing that would make them feel more loved this week. Week after week, I hear men give the same response.

They want their wives to stop what they are doing when they come home and briefly pay attention to them. Some men want a hug and kiss, others simply desire eye contact and a "how was your day?" or "I am so glad you are home."  But time after time, this is the request I hear most often in my office.  More often than not, their wives are very surprised that this means so much to their spouses. And really, how easy would that be to do?

Yes, if you are a stay at home Mom, you might be rushing around getting dinner ready or helping with homework.  If you work outside the home, you might be getting changed or just walking in the door yourself. This is a busy time of the day. But what I hear from men is that they want to be first for just a moment.  They want to come before kids and the house and dinner.  They want to feel valued and appreciated at the end of the day. And really isn't that what we ALL want?

So try this little tip this week and let me know what happens. In our house, I need to be better about this too.  Our dog is SO excited when my husband comes home and he has commented how nice it would be if everyone in the family were as happy to see him as the dog!

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11 comments:

  1. I am bad about being busy when J comes in the door too. I've caught myself saying, "Hey Babe. Let me jut finish blah, blah, blah real quick!" :/ I will be more intentional about this.

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  2. It is interesting that this is what you hear from your clients so often because it does seem like such a simple thing to work on. Your advice is great but I don't think this just a woman's job; it applies equally to both members of a relationship (and perhaps should be taught to children as well). I agree that greeting your spouse/partner and your children at the end of a long day (or night)makes everyone feel welcomed, loved, and appreciated. I think moms, whether they stay at home or work, begin to feel like part of the furniture...the one solid thing that is always there for everyone else to rely on. It's important to make them feel just as noticed and appreciated when they come back home.

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    1. I totally agree Wendy that this is what we ALL want and I say that in the post but a woman has never asked for this in my 20 years of practice. This is what the husbands talk about wanting most in my sessions. I will address what I hear women asking for in later posts. I was afraid this post would come off sounding sexist and I really do not mean it to. Women and men need to show appreciation to one another. This is just one way.

      I am so glad for your feedback:)

      Have a great weekend!

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  3. Replies
    1. Thank you so much Sharon!!! Miss you!

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  4. I can't wait to hear what women say! I loved your "teenager" post yesterday, too. Great stuff! Thank you!

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  5. ME GUSTA MUCHO ESTE NUEVO BLOG!!

    GRACIAS POR TUS BUENISIMAS IDEAS Y SUERTE!

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  6. HA! I am loving this post too...often guilty of letting our dog handle the excited greeting. :)

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  7. I work full time and my husband is "Mr. Mom." I have requested this of my husband many times -- he's getting better at it. I do realize it is a busy time of the day, but this small gesture sets the evening off to a good start. I also just think it's common courtesy when someone walks in the door to say hello to them. If your friend walked in the door, would you ignore them? I don't think so.

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  8. Yep, guilty of this one too:)!

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